Hey guys,
I wanted to take a few minutes and update you on our journey. These past weeks have been so busy for us. We got our very first foster placement about 2 weeks ago. A little boy who is almost 6 and a little girl who is about to turn 7. They are biological siblings.
A lot of people have asked a variety of questions: what are their names? How long will you have them? What happened to their family? I wanted to take a few minutes to address these questions.
1: What are their names?
Well, I actually cannot tell you that. The state wants us to keep the identity of all children in the foster care system protected. For that reason I cannot post their names or pictures on the internet. It is okay to post photos where the identity of the child is unknown. For example, if I ever do post a picture (which I don’t plan on doing), you will not be able to see their eyes. This is solely for the protection of the children. If you ever meet them, you will learn their names and obviously see them, but no pictures or names can be posted online.
2: How long will we have them?
That is a great question….I have no idea. We agreed to keep them with us as a long term placement. That means, these 2 children will probably be in our lives for multiple months. Obviously, this could change. One of the challenging parts of foster care is knowing that you never really know. We plan on them being with us for quite sometime though.
3: What happened to their family?
This has been the most common question we have been asked. Once again, the state asks foster families to keep that information private. So, I cannot tell you. When you think about it….it makes perfect sense. We want the privacy not only of the children, but also the family to be protected. No one wants their hardships shared with the world. What I can tell you is this: these children have had a difficult few years.
Now that the frequently asked questions are out of the way I can share with you a bit about our first few weeks. If I had to pick one word to define this change it would be “exhausting.” From the minute these 2 kids became part of our little family there have been countless changes. Some of those changes have been simple like establishing a bedtime routine. Some have been terribly difficult, like waking up in the middle of the night to screaming, learning how to navigate the school system, washing countless loads of laundry, and figuring out how to make the most of the days when I don’t get off of work until 6 o’clock (Kevin usually gets home from rotations around 5 or 6) and the kids go to bed at 8:30.
The first week was very difficult for us. We had to learn to deny all the things that we wanted to do in order to best care for 2 scared little children. We learned that coming home from work and rotations requires us to immediately cook dinner for a family of 4, not scrounge around the kitchen and plop down to talk about our days and watch hilarious television shows. We had to learn how to have time for the 2 of us while having 2 children in the house. Those things and countless more were hard, exhausting, and honestly very challenging.
Why am I telling you all this?! Why am I not gushing about how happy and grand things are? Because the struggles we have been experiencing are real life. I don’t want to give the impression that we are perfect, have our lives together, or that foster parenting is all fun and easy.
But, I can tell you this: as hard as this has been, we have already been seeing what a difference we have been able to make. We have seen the children’s eyes light up when we read our Bible stories at night. We have heard little voices that didn’t know a thing about Jesus a week ago singing songs to Him. We have had to opportunity to answer questions, give encouragement, and teach these children that Jesus is with them, even when things are hard. We have watched them learn to trust us a little more each day, bond to our dogs, and gradually improve in school.
What Jesus asked us to do, has literally been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I cannot even tell you how heart breaking it is to hear some of the things these children say. I cannot express the pain I see in their little eyes when things with their family don't go according to planned. I cannot begin to express how hard it was to going from being a young a childless couple to having 2 school aged children living with us over night. But, I have taken extreme comfort in this verse I read a few days ago:
Mark 9: 36-37
Then he put a little child among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me.”
We know that Jesus is going to do great things in these children during these next few months. We know that they will be provided for, cared for, and loved while they are living with us. We trust that the Lord will give us the words we need to talk about hard things. We take comfort in knowing that Jesus knew these children would live with us before we even knew their names.
What can I do to help?!
If you find yourself asking this question there are a few things you can do to help.
If you do not live here locally, the best thing you can do is pray. Pray for us and pray for the kids. Pray for wisdom and energy for us, and peace and permanency for the kids.
If you live here in KC: Consider helping us by becoming either respite providers (short term foster parents) so we know that we have somewhere the kids can go overnight if we need a night out. Or, simply fill out a background check so that you can babysit our kiddos to give us a few hours of time together.
If you have been a foster parent…or a parent in general: encourage us when we have questions or need help knowing what to do…for example birthday presents, hair styling, bed times, chore ideas, tasty but healthy dinners, simple and free ideas to give the kids activities to keep them busy during the weekends in the winter when it is -10 degrees outside.
We appreciate all of the prayers that have been said the last few weeks, the emails, texts, and phone calls we have received to check in on us, and the insane amount of clothing we were given in the past 2 weeks for these kids. We are so glad to know that we are supported and prayed for! If you have any questions about fostering, please, feel free to ask us!
Also, VERY exciting announcement, Kevin officially passed his board exam. We had tons of people praying for him, and we are so thankful to have this test behind us!
Thanks for reading!
Kevin and Anna
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