First Weeks of Foster Care

Hey guys, 

I wanted to take a few minutes and update you on our journey. These past weeks have been so busy for us. We got our very first foster placement about 2 weeks ago. A little boy who is almost 6 and a little girl who is about to turn 7. They are biological siblings. 

A lot of people have asked a variety of questions: what are their names? How long will you have them? What happened to their family? I wanted to take a few minutes to address these questions. 

1: What are their names?

 Well, I actually cannot tell you that. The state wants us to keep the identity of all children in the foster care system protected. For that reason I cannot post their names or pictures on the internet. It is okay to post photos where the identity of the child is unknown. For example, if I ever do post a picture (which I don’t plan on doing), you will not be able to see their eyes. This is solely for the protection of the children.  If you ever meet them, you will learn their names and obviously see them, but no pictures or names can be posted online. 

2: How long will we have them? 

That is a great question….I have no idea. We agreed to keep them with us as a long term placement. That means, these 2 children will probably be in our lives for multiple months. Obviously, this could change. One of the challenging parts of foster care is knowing that you never really know. We plan on them being with us for quite sometime though. 

3: What happened to their family?

This has been the most common question we have been asked. Once again, the state asks foster families to keep that information private. So, I cannot tell you. When you think about it….it makes perfect sense. We want the privacy not only of the children, but also the family to be protected. No one wants their hardships shared with the world. What I can tell you is this: these children have had a difficult few years. 

Now that the frequently asked questions are out of the way I can share with you a bit about our first few weeks. If I had to pick one word to define this change it would be “exhausting.” From the minute these 2 kids became part of our little family there have been countless changes. Some of those changes have been simple like establishing a bedtime routine. Some have been terribly difficult, like waking up in the middle of the night to screaming, learning how to navigate the school system, washing countless loads of laundry, and figuring out how to make the most of the days when I don’t get off of work until 6 o’clock (Kevin usually gets home from rotations around 5 or 6) and the kids go to bed at 8:30. 

The first week was very difficult for us. We had to learn to deny all the things that we wanted to do in order to best care for 2 scared little children. We learned that coming home from work and rotations requires us to immediately cook dinner for a family of 4, not scrounge around the kitchen and plop down to talk about our days and watch hilarious television shows. We had to learn how to have time for the 2 of us while having 2 children in the house. Those things and countless more were hard, exhausting, and honestly very challenging. 

Why am I telling you all this?! Why am I not gushing about how happy and grand things are? Because the struggles we have been experiencing are real life. I don’t want to give the impression that we are perfect, have our lives together, or that foster parenting is all fun and easy. 

But, I can tell you this: as hard as this has been, we have already been seeing what a difference we have been able to make. We have seen the children’s eyes light up when we read our Bible stories at night. We have heard little voices that didn’t know a thing about Jesus a week ago singing songs to Him. We have had to opportunity to answer questions, give encouragement, and teach these children that Jesus is with them, even when things are hard. We have watched them learn to trust us a little more each day, bond to our dogs, and gradually improve in school. 

What Jesus asked us to do, has literally been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I cannot even tell you how heart breaking it is to hear some of the things these children say. I cannot express the pain I see in their little eyes when things with their family don't go according to planned. I cannot begin to express how hard it was to going from being a young a childless couple to having 2 school aged children living with us over night. But, I have taken extreme comfort in this verse I read a few days ago:

Mark 9: 36-37

Then he put a little child among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me.”

We know that Jesus is going to do great things in these children during these next few months. We know that they will be provided for, cared for, and loved while they are living with us. We trust that the Lord will give us the words we need to talk about hard things. We take comfort in knowing that Jesus knew these children would live with us before we even knew their names. 

What can I do to help?!

If you find yourself asking this question there are a few things you can do to help. 

If you do not live here locally, the best thing you can do is pray. Pray for us and pray for the kids. Pray for wisdom and energy for us, and peace and permanency for the kids. 

If you live here in KC: Consider helping us by becoming either respite providers (short term foster parents) so we know that we have somewhere the kids can go overnight if we need a night out. Or, simply fill out a background check so that you can babysit our kiddos to give us a few hours of time together.

If you have been a foster parent…or a parent in general: encourage us when we have questions or need help knowing what to do…for example birthday presents, hair styling, bed times, chore ideas, tasty but healthy dinners, simple and free ideas to give the kids activities to keep them busy during the weekends in the winter when it is -10 degrees outside. 

We appreciate all of the prayers that have been said the last few weeks, the emails, texts, and phone calls we have received to check in on us, and the insane amount of clothing we were given in the past 2 weeks for these kids. We are so glad to know that we are supported and prayed for! If you have any questions about fostering, please, feel free to ask us!

Also, VERY exciting announcement, Kevin officially passed his board exam. We had tons of people praying for him, and we are so thankful to have this test behind us! 

Thanks for reading! 

Kevin and Anna 

Blessing Galore

Hello all,

It has been quite awhile since we last updated about our blog. So much has happened this summer. Kevin has been busy studying away for his 1st board exam (COMLEX level 1).  We have been preparing to take in foster children. I (Anna) was diagnosed and treated (it worked) with antibiotics for a strange tick born illness (anaplasmosis) that caused extreme fatigue and body aches for over three years. Finally we have been preparing for our big trip home this year, which will likely be the last trip home for at least a year...maybe more.

But, it has been awhile since we updated you about our foster care journey. We have officially completed all of the requirements to take children into our home. We are super excited about receiving a placement. We have decided for the first few months to do respite and emergency care. Respite care is taking care of another family's foster children so they can have a break. It is kind of like overnight babysitting. It is incredibly important that foster families be given a break from time to time. We want to ease into this big life change slowly, what better way to do that than practicing.

Emergency care is for children who were just removed from their homes. While the State attempts to locate a kinship placement the child is placed into the care of a foster home. Sometimes this is only for a short period of time. But, a lot of the time they do not find a kinship placement and you are given the opportunity to continue to foster the child as a long term placement.

We are hoping to start taking full time placements sometime this fall between September and November depending on different factors including Kevin's board exam and rotation sites, my (Anna) job, and several other factors. We are sure the right placement will come in time, and we do not want to rush that. In the meantime we are praying for the children who come into our home, as well as preparing our hearts for this change.

We are so incredibly thankful for the kindness that has been shown to us as we make this transition. Our friends and family have been very supportive of us along the way. Random strangers have literally loaded the back of our car with toys and clothes for the children who will be living with us. I have had several families donate diapers and clothing. We have been given a carseat and have a stroller and high chair if we need it.

We have collected enough clothing that the children who come into our home will have clean clothes to put on when they arrive. Many times children come to you with only the clothes on their back and sometimes a trash bag with a few of their things. We wanted to make sure that no matter how big or small they are, they will have at least something to wear until we can take them out to buy new clothes (the state provides a small clothing allowance for each child in care).

The day before we became active I had a friend come over and help me sort and fold all of the tiny clothes that were donated. She then made a list of the things I didn't have. For those of you who do not know me (Anna) I am not a very organized person. So, having someone come help me be organized was a huge blessing. I posted online a list of things I was looking for, and within 10 minutes I had about 15 emails from people who wanted to give us what we didn't have. The next day I had tripled the amount of clothing I had on hand.

The bottom line here is we are so incredibly blessed. Christ called us to make this huge change in our lives. We obeyed Him very excitedly, but we quickly came to find how big of a decision this was. Not just emotionally, but financially as well. But, every step of the way He has provided for us. This continual reminder of His love and presence has been such an encouragement to us as we begin this chapter of our lives.

Thank you so much for being a part of our journey through reading our blog. If you would like to know what you can do:

1. Pray, pray, pray. Pray for us, pray for our future foster placements, and pray for Kevin as he prepares to take his board exam in a few weeks. The board exam is an 8 hour test that is required for Kevin to continue his medical school journey.

2. If you live nearby, consider helping us by becoming respite providers. That way if we ever have to go out of town and the child cannot come with us, we know that you can love them while we are away.

3. If you live out of town...consider becoming respite providers for other foster families! It is SERIOUSLY a huge need. All it takes is a background check, 1 home visit, and 3 forms (here in MO at least).

4. Be excited for us if we want to tell you all about our journey. We kind of talk about it A LOT.

We are so thankful for your prayers, your donations, and your encouragement. We are so blessed to have so many loving people in our lives!

Kevin and Anna Quinby