It is so crazy to me how much things can change in a year. A year ago, Kevin was sitting in a classroom itching to get out into the real world of medicine. A year ago, I was teaching full time. A year ago we didn't have kids. A year ago, I had a tick-borne illness that sucked all my energy away. A year ago I had a bizarre problem in my legs that no one seemed to be able to figure out. Now, Kevin is working 5 days a week (soon to be more) in a hospital or doctor’s office seeing patients. I am transitioning into a new job so that I can be home more...with our kids! I no longer have a tick borne illness that robs me of my joy and energy, and we finally figured out what is wrong with my poor legs, and I will be having surgery in December.
I have this memory from sometime back in April. Kevin and I were carpooling into school and work. This was in the middle of a flare up from my illness. I felt horrible. I had no energy, no joy, and was in terrible pain all day every day. That particular morning I was feeling optimistic because our new doctor had started to run tests to figure out what was wrong. Kevin said to me "this could be a really good year for you Anna." A few days later my world came crashing down when we learned that I had symptoms and testing that indicated I could have a slew of very scary illnesses. I remember repeating to Kevin sarcastically "this could be a really good year for you Anna" as I sat terrified in our bedroom.
Thank God that those tests ended up being nothing. We did find out what I had (the tick borne illness), and it was incredibly treatable. Thank God the medication worked, my energy came back, and the pain I had been struggling with for years went away. Thank God that this particular story had a good ending, and one that only required us waiting for 2 months. Thank you Jesus that we figured out that my legs have chronic exertional compartment syndrome. Thank you Jesus that a surgeon will correct the problem so that I can regain the ability to run, to climb stairs, to walk uphill, or even walk through a parking lot without feel like my calves are on fire.
What we didn't know at the time was that this was going to be a really good year, not just for me, but for both of us. Our lives changed in such a dramatic way on September 8th that neither of us could have ever predicted. Two little children walked into our home and stole our hearts. We knew we were becoming foster parents to meet a need, because Jesus called us to do so. We just didn't expect to be blessed in return by the children in our home.
This year we have grown so much. We have grown through trials. Kevin had to learn to trust fully in Christ during his board preparation. He had to accept that he was not able to become a doctor through his own strength. I have grown by seeing Jesus in big and scary situations. I have learned that there are many times I think I know what is best. There are times that I want to control my own life, or I want an answer right now. I have also learned that many of the things I love most didn’t come by my own doing.
So why do I want to share this story online? I have mentioned before that I seem to hear God’s voice quite frequently when listening to children’s music, watching children’s movies, and now tonight, reading to our kids from their Bible story book.
The story tonight was about Jesus calming the storm when the disciples were afraid. We talked about how many times in life we are in a storm. Hard and scary things are happening and we cannot control them. When those things happen, we call out to Jesus and ask him to bring peace and comfort. He will answer, maybe it is not in the way we thought was best, but He will walk with us through it.
I am writing publicly to give Jesus credit for the incredible year we have had. I am writing to share with you that really hard and terrifying stuff happens. There are parts of our story I have not shared, and parts I cannot share, and other parts that are still waiting for an ending. Some of those things are raw and painful, and some will require months and months of waiting. But, that doesn’t mean that we are stranded, alone, or forgotten. That just means I will give Jesus praise in the midst of them. It simply means that we call out to Jesus to bring us peace in the midst of the storm, and know that He will be with us while we wait.
Here is the link to a song that was so comforting earlier in the year. Yes, it was from a children’s movie, go figure. This song comes from "Joseph, King of Dreams." Joseph is in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, and he is struggling and confused. He doesn’t understand why God would have him in this situation. As time passes in the song he comes to realize that “You know better than I.” It is incredibly powerful, I hope you like it as much as I do!!
Thanks for reading!
Anna
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