You're Worth All of Me

When people hear that we are a foster family, many times their first reaction is “Oh my gosh, I could never do that. I would just get so attached to a kid and then having to give them back would just be too hard for me” 

You know, I felt this way for a long time. I felt the Lord call me to foster care many years ago. I always watched from a distance while other people did what I was called to, and I stood on the sidelines afraid to give my heart away and receive nothing but absolute pain. However, I want to tell you why this sacrifice is beyond worth it. 

Almost 10 months ago the 2 most beautiful children walked into my home. It wasn’t hard at all to love them. Their smiles can melt a cold heart. Their sweet voices can bring such softness to a hard situation. When they reach up to be held or hold our hands, there is no doubt in the world that we love them. We have made sacrifices for months, some that were so large it shocked us that we made them so quickly, but that is what love does.

Do you know what is hard? Preparing to watch my children move away. Packing up their sweet little clothes, and all their toys into boxes and duffle bags. Tucking them into bed each night knowing that this will be one of the last times. Hearing the words “I love you mommy” and remembering that this will be something that I will no longer hear in less than a month. I cannot put into words the earth shattering pain associated with these moments, but I can tell you that I will NEVER regret it. I would lay my heart down to be broken 100 more times to protect them from the experiencing the loss of their family.

Here is the truth, in my opinion this type of pain is something to strive for as a foster parent. Every child deserves love. We are made to love and to be loved. It is only when our hearts experience unconditional love that we can begin to heal from the pain we endure as human beings. A 6 and 7 year old deserve to be fought for, treated equally to the other children (if you have any) in your home, and they NEED to be loved in order to learn to bond, to trust, and to grow. Love can heal broken hearts. Love can lead a child to the throne of Jesus Christ. 

If Kevin and I had put up guards around our hearts, I can tell you 100% that these children would not know Jesus, they probably wouldn’t live in our home anymore, and we would have lost two of the most powerful and beautiful moments of our lives. If we chose to only let them have part of our hearts they would have continued to be shuffled from home to home, not knowing how to trust and love adults. No child in the world deserves to be afraid of being hurt by every adult they encounter. 

Even more so, I am called to love unconditionally. This was the example that Jesus gave me when he willingly laid his body on a cross to be crucified to save me. No one doubts that crucifixion is the most painful death imaginable, but this is what Jesus did to save ME! How can I refuse to sacrifice my heart to help save another human from heart break? How can I turn my eyes away from the example that my savior set before me? My life is not about me, it will never be about me. My life is about Jesus. Jesus told me to become a foster parent, and Jesus used me to reach 2 beautiful children. I will forever praise Him, even when it hurts to a level that I cannot express with words. 

I want to leave you with this. A few days ago I was sitting in the car when I remembered a song I heard years ago by Matt Hammit. It is called “All of Me” he wrote the song when his newborn son had a heart defect that was about to kill him. The song is about how despite the pain that he would feel if his child died he would give his child all of his love, because he was worth it. This song has become my truth. My children are worth ALL of me. They are worth it, even if I bleed. They are worth ALL of my heart, and they will forever be worth it. 

Give your heart to a foster child, even when it hurts, it is worth it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50ygAc2qP5A

Anna